Season's Greetings

She has spent the last few weeks laid up in bed so I haven't had access to the laptop. I think she must be recovering now though as she's started ordering things again.

I've been trying really hard to wear down the Christmas tree. Most of it is on the floor now but the damn bits of tinsel keep getting in my eyes as I go around and around. And do you think they'll thank me for it? No. Just like before, they'll get all stroppy even though I've done half the work for them. I'm sure that the day is coming when they'll put it outside. I know that because the gold bits keep falling down now. You just can't help some people, can you?

Happy New Year to you all!

Have bed, will travel.

I thought I was going on another magical mystery tour and here I am. Interesting. There are things I know by smell and things I don't. Juxtaposition I think they call it. My humans are all here and sitting around as if they own the place. Bunch of weirdos. I'm going to my bed. It's the one thing I can rely on. I'll fill you in tomorrow.

It'll all come out in the wash

Never trust a human when they start washing your bedding. Now, I know I've complained in the past about the speed of service when it comes to having my bed made up but I've learned to be very suspicious indeed when she starts washing them, especially when they haven't reached full maturity. What's more is that they're never going to reach that stage now because I had a shower too and I smell of lavender now which is totally disgusting.

I can only guess what might be going on. It could be someone important coming to visit. That seems unlikely given the state of the rest of the house. I've never seen so much of my hair having been allowed to accumulate in the corners. I've noticed that She's up later than usual and has been waking me up in the night by climbing over me at 4am to go downstairs. I mean, how inconsiderate can you be? The worst thing of all is this: they know that things are a bit fuzzy for me these days and yet they are leaving boxes, toys and piles of towels and things all over the place. I keep tripping over random objects. Would you do this to a blind human? Well, you might not but maybe I would but that's beside the point. They're supposed to look out for me, be responsible for my welfare. I think they're trying to kill me. Of course, I'm exploiting certain aspects of this; when something is lying on the floor then it is asking to be used and then there's the whole deaf thing so I can't really get told off, can I? I can also recommend an extremely effective way of being annoying; what you do is hoover in the doorways looking vacant but you must also remember to be completely unresponsive.

Let me share my one dream that I am truly hoping will come true. I hesitate to speak about this in case that in doing so, I cast a jinx on my good fortune. Perhaps my bedding has been washed because I'm going to the old lady's house to stay? I'm keeping my paws crossed.