Picking up the pieces

They're at it again. Moving furniture around. Now, the only good thing that came out of that wretched bitch incident is that they put a nice, smelly duvet on the floor in what I've heard them referring to as the 'sitting room'. This is the same room which was previously known as the dining room. I think it's terribly rude of them to impose a change of use without consultation with me given that I was the only one who ever used it before. I'd just got it so that my aroma permeated every surface and now she's in there dusting and spraying stuff all over the place.

I've seen her looking at the duvet. That's why I'm not moving or leaving her alone in the room with it. After all, they've got two 'sitting rooms' now so why shouldn't I have two beds? Especially as my privacy has been compromised, not to mention the compensation I deserve for last week's debacle.

Anyway, as us dogs say little morsels of mirth come the way of those who wait nicely. The other day, she took me tantalisingly close to the forest. Not in it. Just next to it. We walked along the grass but every time I sniffed at the rabbit tracks leading into the undergrowth, she yanked me back. Quite cunningly, I managed to leave a little deposit. Actually, that's not strictly accurate; it was neither little, nor singular. You see, I've perfected the art of widespread distribution as this maximises the chances of her losing her grip on the bag and sticking her fingers right into it. Regular readers of my blog may remember my previous successes on this front but on this particular occasion, I reached new heights. I managed to do it in the same place as some other fellow who obviously had a less conscientious owner. The consequence of this was that she got confused over whose was who's. Only temporarily though. It became clear to her that she was picking up another dog's deposit for two reasons: firstly, she had stuck her finger in it and secondly, it was cold. That'll teach her.